Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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