Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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