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omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
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