I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
two words: eviction party
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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