Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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