I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
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This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
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He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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