we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
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I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
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Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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