forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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