what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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