Writing my paper on freud at bar
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Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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