SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
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Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
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