wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
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all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
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I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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