she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
50% drunk capacity currently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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