In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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