so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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