you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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