dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
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