I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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