Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize