Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize