He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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