Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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