You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize