she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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