Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
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