I'm so fucking centered right now
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
We had sex on a dog bed..
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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