Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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