Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I forgot how hot balto sounded
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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