yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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