i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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