dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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