Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize