This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
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i cant cry in cvs. not again.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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