overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I would fuck him just for his dog
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
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