btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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