if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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