I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize