I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize