ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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