He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
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i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
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I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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