I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize