I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize