I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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