everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize