well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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