if you like me you must not know who I am
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize