So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
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He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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