I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
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The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You don't make any sense
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