My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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