sarcasm needs its own font
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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